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Saturday, May 3, 2014

It has been too long.....

I have been a little busy over the last year so let me tell you what I have been up to.

Last I checked in I had just found out I was pregnant; since then I have delivered a healthy, perfect, baby girl. Sophia Ella Pritchard; born via c-section on September 12, 2013, is a life re-imagined. I cannot believe the love she has filled my heart with. Meagan is a proud big sister and loves her so much, it is priceless. I am still nervous something could change with the baby, but that is not going to change anytime soon. One thing I have learned over the last seven months is that Meagan was born the way she is. As I watch my baby develop, I notice the differences between my girls. I am really hopeful in my families future again. I am still scared for Meagan's future. It is a lot harder caring for her, I could not do it without my amazing husband.

During my pregnancy; I worried about the baby being born with disabilities like my oldest Meagan has, it would have destroyed me. I am so thankful that she is developing normally and meeting milestones Meagan never did. I love her so much, it has been seamless adding her to our family. Sometimes I worry if Meagan is feeling left out, but then she seems so happy having her sister and talks to everyone about her. Sophia has brought a little more light in Meagan's life, I can't wait to see these two grow together.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Life is about to become very interesting!!!

Hellow my fellow bloggers!


I know it's been a long time since my last post, but I have some pretty incredible news to share! For many years I've been terrified of having more children. My biggest fear was having another child that is disabled. It's taken me many years to get over this fear. I might not be completely over the fear, but I'm ready to move forward. May 14, 2012, was the day my little Aireonna went back to her mom's, and my family's life was changed permanently. Again! Even though this time it's been very difficult, I have learned a lot about myself and what I'm capable of handling. One thing I learned about myself throughout this entire ordeal, is that I am much more stronger than I thought it was. For the last few years, I've told my husband Adam, whenever he was ready to have more children I would also be ready. Finally, around the time my daughter turned 14 years old, he decided he was ready. Meagan turned 14 on December 1, 2012. about mid-December I decided that I was also ready, and we began to plan for our new baby. On January 15, 2013, we found out I am pregnant. Wow! That was really fast. In a matter of a couple weeks, I got pregnant. Our newest baby should be born on September 23-25, 2013! We are very happy for this new little person, to become a part of our world.

So, as the new year begins, a new chapter in our life begins! I never thought my children would be 14 years apart in age, but I couldn't be any happier. The only thing that will make me even more happier; is if we have a boy. My daughter Meagan, is really excited to become a big sister. She has decided that if we have a boy, his name should be "Scrap Boy." Scrap boy, is a character on a cartoon that Meagan loves! She is so funny, whenever I ask her if she wants a brother or sister, she says sister. I think she does this because she misses Aireonna. She called Aireonna her sister and she misses her immensely. They say time heals all wounds. I hope so.



 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Meagan is doing much better!

We had another follow up appointment regarding her infection. First blood test was not good it showed increased infection markers. They were concerned that she was becoming immune to the antibiotic, so they ordered an x-ray to see if they could still see the abscess and infection on her left tibia. So after four long weeks of waiting it showed great improvement. Hopefully, she will get off the antibiotics in a couple weeks. Its been a tough couple of months. My poor baby has been taking them since May 7th. So for all of you following me and giving me support through this very difficult time, I am very thankful. But I need you to keep it up!!! We need good results and the next appointment later this month.

After a year of fighting LNI I won and finally got paid, but of course the black cloud of doom that has been surrounding me for two plus years took over. I received a letter in the mail from unemployment say they have decided they overpaid me and want me to payback $7500. So much for getting back on track. Let the good time roll!!

On a good not my beautiful healthy nephew was born and he is amazing. I couldn't be more happier for my brother Grant and sister Julie. Their little son Grant William Towns is so adorable. I will say I am very envious, I cannot wait till, Adam and I have our next child. Next year is our goal. I need to get more financially stable and healthy before that happens. I now know I want to have another child more than ever. I am seriously excited. We are going to wait till the new genetic testing gets done first and than if they are all good we are getting pregnant.

I used to think I would never have anymore children because of Meagan having special needs but, the more I think about it the more I realize, who is going to be there for her if we are not. She needs a brother to look after her. I hope its a boy, when that time comes! All in all life is tough, nothing we can't handle. It never gets easier, but as long as we have each other we can get through anything. I am so lucky I have my hubby. He really is an amazing dad and husband. It shocks me that we have been together 19-years. That is crazy!!!!!


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Happy Birthday to my dad

Today July 18th is my dad's birthday. He is gone now, but it still feels so fresh like I just lost him yesterday, even though it has been almost two years since he passed. For me its only been a year and a couple of months. Does it get any easier? Some days I feel normal, but then today comes and I find myself very say. Nothing in my life is going good and I feel so lost and hopeless sometimes. I miss my family so much, I miss Airie more than words can express. I have been trying so hard to keep myself busy to keep busy and not dwell on things I cannot control. I am focused on saving my family and getting Meagan healthy, but can I please get a break from all the loss I have had in the last two years?

What more do I have to endure before life gets easier? I just want to raise my family and be part of the lives of those I love. The rest I wish would go stop. Life really should be easier. My amazing husband and Nick created an amazing water fountain for me, that I love. I probably should have expressed this to them more, but I am so exhausted and overwhelmed I fear I have hurt their feelings. I really love it though. There are so sweet.

Everyday this week they have worked on our property and it is look really good, they are planning on painting our house tomorrow. Wow! I just wish I could feel more happy. Life is full of loss and failures. I feel like I have let my family down. I have no income and we are hurting really bad. I feel like a complete failure to them. I can love them to the end of the earth, but money is what we need to fix our issues.

Hopefully LNI will get of their lazy butts and pay me my time loss before we lose our house. Its only been almost a year since I won my lawsuit.

On a happy note; my brother's son should be born soon and I cannot wait to meet him!!!!!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Meagan got her new power chair!!!!!

I have the best support group that helps me with my daughter. Sharon her physical therapist is the best in the world. I cannot thank her enough. She has been with my daughter since the start of this school year and she has managed to get Meagan: a new manual chair, bath lift, and power chair. I am so happy for my daughter. You should have seen her showing off her mad skills driving around the track at school. She was adorable, I haven't been this happy in a really long time. At least for that brief moment. She put her chair in the fastest mode and cruised around the track passing everyone, it was awesome. She was cruising and squealing the whole way around the track. I have never seen something so precious in my life. I never new love could be so heavy.

Meagan's infection has not changed much, but it has not gotten worse. She is starting to get her appetite back and the swelling is almost gone, but she has been getting sick when she takes her mid-day dose of meds. We have been trying feeding her and spacing it out a little bit more, so hopefully my poor couch doesn't come victim to more up-chuck.

Meagan has found You-Tube and is really addicted to Annoying orange. Its really funny and she has to watch it constantly. I love to see her happy, so as long as he doesn't keep getting his head cut off and making her cry, I am cool with it. I wish they had parental features for You-tube.  She manages to find all sorts of videos. One night I look over at her and she has silent tears running down her cute lil-cheeks and so I look at what she is watching. It turns out she found a story about these conjoined twins, and they die. She totally understood what it was that was happening and was crying. It was really sad. But now she has to watch it all the time. I have tried deleting the video and she still can find it. She is too smart for her own good.

My husband and I have finally agreed that we are going to have another child, even if we have another child that is special needs. I have a hole in my heart and it needs to be filled. Strange. I never thought I would say those words after having Meagan, but I want her to have a sibling and it better be a boy. I know we will get what we get, but I want a boy. I have a few hurdles before I can get pregnant, but by next year we plan to start trying to get pregnant, SCARY.

To add to my extra lovely month, my unemployment ran out and that really sucks. I was told I had until December 31, 2012 before it ran out, but no it done. So now I have to put my schooling on hold and get a job. Maybe I can do both, I really hope so. I want to get my degree and provide a better life for myself and my family. We shall see.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I life always difficult or is it just mine

It has been a very trying week. It started off with me in the ER, with my back out again. Then, once I got home and was resting, I get a call that during visitation Airie was in a car accident with her mom and grandma. I rushed to get her, thank god she is ok. Then, the next day Meagan complained that her left foot hurt. I thought that maybe someone took off her AFO's and did not put them back on correctly and just kept my eye on it. The next day she was crying that it hurt really bad, it wasn't swollen or bruised, so I sent her to school. When she got off the bus, I noticed it immediately, her leg was swollen. I called her doctor and he wanted us to come in immediately. She was seen and sent to the ER immediately to rule out a blood clot or injury. We were there for several hours and had a tentative diagnosis of cellulitus and bacterial skin infection. The next day her leg was twice the size as before, so I called her doctor and took her in. He was not convinced of the diagnosis and wanted a blood panel, so back to the hospital we went. She was on a broad spectrum anit-biotic so they were sure that would help. The following morning her leg was even larger, hot to the touch, and she had a temperature with the already present rash. The doctor wanted us to come in ASAP. Once we got there he checked her out and said he wanted her admitted into the hospital, he wanted her monitored closely. So off to the hospital we went. They immediately put her on a strong IV anti-biotic and there we stayed until Monday when they could do more tests. Happy Mother's Day to me!

Thank god to my husband, he took care of Airie so I could be with Meagan. Everyday they came to the hospital and played with Meagan, who you would never know she was sick by how happy and sweat she was. It always amazes me, at home she was non-communicative, lethargic, and crying but as soon as we get to the hospital she is happy and delightful. She amazes me, I am so grateful for my angel. Monday they did an MRI. They found out that not only did she have cellulitus; she had a sever bone infection of her left tibia and an abscess at her ankle. They said if the abscess doesn't go away they might need to do surgery to remove it. Crazy. If I had not been paying such close attention to my child she could have died from both of these infections. The good part is that the anti-biotic's they started her on once we were in the hospital are the same one that treats both infections, she will have to be on them for the next 4-6 weeks. Sucks;but, at least she will get better and hopefully not have to have surgery. Tuesday, we got to go home. There's no place like home, there's no place like home. I couldn't be happier, until I got a phone call from my husbands mother saying they had court that morning and got custody back of Airie. The CPS worker took her from daycare and did not even let me say goodbye. It was also really nice of my husbands family to say in court that I could not take care of Airie because my daughter was in the hospital. Shitty Ass people. For the last 21-months I have cared for her without incident and they have done nothing to help me at all, even when I had three surgeries in the last year and they do not even let me say goodbye to her.

They are monsters. I will never again allow myself to be hurt by them. I am done. My husbands sister gets her daughter back so she can show her how to be a drug using, thieving, promiscuous, leaching, peace of crap. She can't even take care of herself let alone two kids. Poor Airie, she is going to be stuck with her lazy mother and child molesting sister, she won't have a chance. My only hope it that the time she has spent with me will count and that she will not turn out like them. Hopefully, she learns what normal can be, and strives to be that way, because if she doesn't there will be three of them in this world and that is a sad, sad thought.

I cannot beleive that the CPS worker was that much of a chicken shit. She took Airie from daycare and did not even call me to tell me that they were returning her home. I had my husband take her things over to his moms house I couldn't bare to see them, it just hurts too damn much. So, it has been one hell of a week. Tomorrow is my birthday and I want nothing more than to spend the day in the past. If I could wish for anything in the world I would wish for some peace in my life, that and that my daughter could have a normal life.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Does CPS really protect children, or destroy them?

For the last two years of my life I have done everything I can to make sure my little niece is safe. I have helped her mother so much that it put my own family to the way side and for what? To sit in a meeting with her and have her tell me she know I am filling her child's head with stories of molestation. WOW! Really? What kind of messed up person can say that to a family member who has help them as much as I have her. Even though she is the one that has hurt my family time and time again. First when she stole the money from my bedroom. Then when she committed a federal crime when opening my mail, stealing my debit card and then draining my bank account. Not to mention all my credit cards, which she used and tried to do cash advances on them, but that is where she made the mistake I had fraud protection on those card. They notified me when that type of activity was tried on the cards. All to feed her drug habit. But still being the doormat that I am I forgave her, NEVER will I forget. Actually I can't really say I forgive her because I really don't. She does nothing to make her life better. If she had perhaps maybe things would be different. Maybe I wouldn't want her to go to jail for her crimes. I am so glad I kept the evidence on DVD from the convenience store where she robbed my account. I struggle with this, should I turn her in? Should I just move on? Will it help anything by turning her in? NO she just get bailed out like always. So I keep it in and try to move on knowing very well that, she can never have a place in my life and those that support her hurting my family will not either. Not that they really do anyways. Its a conundrum.

My niece came home from her overnights with her mom and said that her sister once again touched her crotch and described masturbation to me. This is about the sixth plus time she has said this and CPS has done nothing to protect her. She finally gets brave enough to share her pain with others and I get told she seems coached. These people are crazy, how many Powell families will there have to be before this broken system is fixed. The social workers have too many cases to keep an eye on them efficiently, nor do they actually care what really happens to these children. I have done everything I can do to help keep my niece healthy, happy and safe for nearly nineteen months without incident, but they are trying to make me out to be the bad guy. When the reality is that its the opposite.

Enough is enough! My husband and I have a really hard decision to make tonight. We may have to remove ourselves from the equation and that sucks. We will have to, and its sad that it has come to this. But what other choice to we have.