Yesturday was court day and I had my husband come so he could see how his family is treating me. For some reason lately they have decided I am the devil and I am trying to take away is sister's child. When the reality is that I have a really good thing by taking in her child, when I did not have to. I did it because that is what family is supposed to do. They don't even look at the sacrifices we have made and the money it cost us to raise her. It means nothing to them.
When we walked into the court area, Adam's sister said to him, "What are you doing here?" Not hi how are you or how is my daughter. Also she said it all snotty like he had no right to be there, when his life has been turned upside down just as much as anyone. He has to work seven days a week to provide for another person and she treats him that way. I find it appalling. The funny part is he responded with, "Why are you here?" I laughed in my head. He is so funny!! But best of all he got to see what I have been telling him for months. They are treating me like I am the enemy.
So nothing was accomplished in court but a put off for three months, at least we get three more months with Aireonna and his sister has three months to show her true colors. Now that they have loosened the rains on her, she will, its only a matter of time. Come the next court date it will be over a year we have had custody of Aireonna and twenty-one months since she was removed from her mothers care and that give the state legal right to terminate her parental rights. I wish the best for Airie and only want her safe and happy. No matter where that might put her, she deserves a chance at a life of happiness and not total chaos. She actually thinks its completely normal the life she was living, even though she doesn't have that chaos with us.
After every visitation, she is being programmed not to tell me and Adam anything. She actually tells me that she it told that. How sad. Poor little girl, she just wants to be happy and she is being put in so much stress it breaks my heart. Why would you put your four-year old in that situation? What kind of parent does that to their child. I have started looking for a therapist to help her through this hard time, she is so stressed and wants to please everyone. It really sucks to see her go through this torment every week. After the visits she tells me how horrible her sister treats her and that she only goes there to see her Nana, but she loves her mommy too. She is really being hurt by their behavior and they don't even see it. After she is brought home she won't leave my side, I can't even go to the bathroom without her following me. She is always crawling in my arms and holding me and kissing me. She always tells me how much she loves me and that she never wants to leave here. But there is nothing I can do besides reassure her that she is safe and its going to be ok, when the reality is that its not going to be ok. Its a lose, lose situation. If she goes home, she doesn't have a chance in hell of getting the attention she needs and will get left behind again. If I get custody of her she will be hurt that she can't ever go home to her mommy.
Adam and I have talked about this a lot and we are in it for the long haul we are going to do what ever it takes to make sure she is safe and happy, no m after what. But when this is over, I don't know how things will ever be the same. I am done with the whole situation. If it wasn't for the love we have for that sweet little girl, we would have told them to take her to a foster home so we don't get even more hurt than we already are, but it is too late for that, we love her too much to put her in that situation. We just hope everything works out the way it should and we can have some sort of normalcy in our lives.
As for some good news!! I got invited to join the Pierce Count Board of Developmental Disabilities and am super excited. I will finally going to be able to help others like myself that have a family member that is disabled. I can't wait to get started, this is something I have dreamed about since I got over the initial shock of of having a child with special needs. Wow, this could be life changing for my family. My only fear is that I have no official training, except life experience. I am a fast learner and will learn so much from this, I can't wait!!!
So for those of you that read my blog, wish me luck on my new adventure and with Airie. I just want to do the right thing and keep her safe. I also want to learn about way to help others and be successful at it, it could be the path my future takes me next. I also have my trial at the end of October against the state and my on the job injury that I need to win. Send me all your good thoughts and luck, I need it!!
