Saturday, December 17, 2011
Can my life be more difficult!!!
Last week I had surgery again! This is the third time this year and it really sucks. I am doing good this time. Thank GOD!!!!! The last surgery I got really sick, but I didn't get sick this time. I am just in a lot of pain. Christmas is next week and I don't really have any money to buy my husband anything really decent. I got him a couple of things, but I never feel like its enough. He does so much for me. Every day he gets up early and gets Meagan ready for school before he goes to work. He picks up our foster niece Airie from daycare and he works 7-days a week just for us to barely make ends meet. All for me to get well and go to college. He said something to me last week that really stung. He said I am always putting him down and calling him names like stupid or talking bad about him to people. I was really taken back by it, because when I say things like "your stupid" I am always joking and don't really mean anything buy it. But you can never really tell if what you say to someone they are going to take it the way you mean it. I will have to make sure I am more careful how I say things and in what context I use them in, I never want him to feel that way. But then I also find myself going back to past times that he has said way worse to me, yet I have let that go and it was ten time worse than anything I could have ever said to him. Like my birthday this year. What I have learned is that it never matters what has happened to you, it what you do to others. VERY TRUE!! One thing is for sure, Adam: my best friend, husband, father of our child, lover, confidant, number one supporter, money maker, fixer of all things broken, my piece of mind in the crazy life we live, and most of all THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, deserves to be made to feel important and all those thing I have listed before and I must remind myself everyday this so that he never feels that way because my life would be nothing without him in it. Period.
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It is easy to think we are joking and to make the other person feel miserable. I, too, had to learn that lesson with my husband. Once he pointed it out I felt terrible and wished I could take back every comment ever made in front of other people. My husband, like yours is to you, is all that you describe.
ReplyDeleteYou say you don't feel you have enough to give him at Christmas. Here are a couple of ideas: Make him a card or write him a letter telling him what you just told us. You may SAY it to him all the time, but it is so different when it is in writing. Another idea is to make him a "dream gift." Find pictures on the internet and print them out. If money were no option, what would you do? Make a little scrapbook taking him through a whole exciting day. This will only work, though, if he doesn't feel too badly about not having enough. When I did mine I made it completely over-the-top so my hubby knew it was my fantasy day for him.
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.
Hi Shannon, I can only wish you everything of the best for the future, hope this operation is a huge success, and hope that hubby's family will realize that you are actually a jewel and not what ever bad names you were called. My advice is, do trust in the Lord, and look forward, keep your head up, I have read only a few of your posts and I think you are a very brave girl, who has her place "booked" in Paradise. I can only hope your little Angel will keep on improving, and that she will have you to support her for ever.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself.
Colin.