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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Got to love the life you live!!

Christmas really was good. I went to my brothers on Christmas eve and had an amazing dinner with my side of the family. The kids played, loved their gifts and the photo albums I made my family members seemed to be loved by all. Then came Christmas day. What a joke. The morning was perfect. I watched my two beautiful girls overjoyed by what Santa had got them. They were wonderful. The sucky part was when we went over to my in-laws house. I wasn't overly excited about the visit to begin with, but put on my supportive happy face, and went anyways. We dived into presents pretty quickly because Jocelyn was un-relenting. This is where I get a little upset. Meagan had four presents, whereas, Aireonna had at least fifty. I don't care that she had so many gifts. What I care about is that they should have waited until we left to bring them all out. I felt so bad for my daughter watching Airie open so much and she had so little. I don't care about gifts, but that was just plain cruel. They kept saying that the gifts came from an organization. I don't care. You don't hand out fifty gifts to one and none to another, you wait and then give those gifts. Such BS.

Prior to Christmas we got the news  that our grandfather wasn't going to make it much longer and we needed to say our goodbyes. I was lucky enough to spend some time with him telling him that I loved him and it was ok for him to go. That we would be ok and he could be in peace. It's a really weird feeling, telling someone its ok for them to die. Grandpa made it through Christmas and then passed on December 27, 2011 at the age of 96. He passed one week after his 96th birthday. I did the flowers for his funeral and I couldn't be more proud of my creations. They were amazing. Grandpa had a send off that he would have been so proud of. I had a sadness though  that is un-relenting. I find myself needing to make sure my own father gets the service he deserves. Is it wrong to feel jealous that I have not gotten the closure that I need and my family did? It sucks.

That is the story of my life!!!

Life is full of disappointments, its what you do with them that shape you as the person you are. Is this saying true or philosophical BS. I don't really know, I just do what I feel is right and try to not let people down. But is that enough? Am I doing enough?

Time will tell!!!!

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