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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My nightmare is coming true!

Last week CPS had a meeting to decide if Airie will be returned to her mom and they decided they were going to return her. Which, was what I was afraid of. I always knew it was a possibility, but hoped they would open their eyes and realize they would be destroying her life. But, none of that matters, they are going to do it anyways.

They decided they would slowly increase visitation and overnight stays and then permanently place her back with her mom. I think this is almost worse than, just taking her away immediately. Now its a long drawn out process, that is putting the poor child through hell. I feel so bad for her, she is so torn. She said she loves her mommy and wants to go home, but is happy and safe here. She said she doesn't have nightmares when she is here and that at Nana's house she get really scared at night. How sad, she is only four years old, she shouldn't be having nightmares. I wish there was something I could do to help her.

She also is torn, because she is happy here. She is so torn, she loves her family here and there, it's terrible. I wish our fate was different. There is so much I would have done to help her cope. I planned on getting her into therapy, but CPS stopped me, saying it was denied. The councilors she met with, said she needed more than the ten sessions they could do for free. They felt she needed long term help, so this doesn't haunt her future. What makes it worse is that once she is home, she will get lost in the chaos of her sister and lose all the growth she has made. I was talking with her daycare workers and they made a comment that, when she first started there she was so behind. She could not speak full sentences, she did not know her colors or shapes and now I have gotten her to the point she can read some small books and even spell her name. They said she is very bright and right there with the school age kids. That makes me so proud. What a huge improvement. I am so proud of her.

What's going to happen is she is going to fall back into the old ways and lose everything we have worked so hard to teach her.


How can we be the only ones who see how bad it will be for her? I really hope the people I have called will step up and help me!


  1. I feel bad for you and Airie. I'm praying that things will work out for both of you.

  2. Shannon, visiting fro Blog Frog, I feel for you but on the same hand you had a positive influence on Airie's life and she will never forget it, don't close the way for communication with her family and see where you can share the care if it is at all possible. You have a strength, resourcefulness and a love that will stand the test of time, you have to tap into it at this very moment. People often strike back and hurt us more than we feel we can bear, you hold on to that open loving heart of yours and know that there is a God and with him all things are possible and a way will be made even at the last minute! Stay blessed, Amanda

    Amanda - Realityarts-Creativity
    Art Blog